Risk in Love

A solitary life--we just weren't designed for it. But we all seek it, to some extent, married or single. The desire for autonomy lurks in all of our hearts.

It may be there in the woman who turns down an invitation to dine with friends because she prefers a different restaurant.

It may be there in the woman who prefers to church hop rather than commit to a particular fellowship.

It may be there in the woman who always listens to others’ troubles but never shares her own.

We call it “independence.” A more apt term is “self-protection.” The Bible calls it "selfishness." We cherish our ways, we insist on our rights, and we don’t want to get hurt. Love—real love—is never safe. That’s because the very nature of love exposes us, leaving us vulnerable to betrayal and rejection. Jesus understood this better than anyone. He spent his life on earth offering love—his very self—only to be rejected by the majority. They wanted him for his miracles, not for himself. He was “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief,” yet he never stopped loving.

We are afraid of what will happen if we reveal ourselves, even to (perhaps most especially to) other Christians. If others see our sin, if they see us for who we really are, they won’t want us. They won’t respect us. We all crave love and respect, but living to get them always leads us away from them. If we open up and be real, others will feel free to do so. There is nothing more hollow and Spirit-quenching than a roomful of believers who whitewash their conversation with superficial piety.

Taking the risk not only to give but also to receive comfort, encouragement, affection, sympathy, and love as God intended abolishes a joyless and barren self-protective existence, despite the inevitable hurts along the way. Real love risks.